How not to sell things

I don’t really like answering the door during the day, unless I’m expecting a delivery. I work from home and however short the disruption, it always takes ages to get back into things. The callers never seem to turn up during a natural break.

This afternoon, somebody knocked really hard, though, and I could hear that they’d obviously yanked the gate open (if you aren’t careful, it scrapes on the ground), so I thought I might as well go down and see. I was going to have to shut the gate properly anyway, as yankers never bother. Most of them are pizza leaflet deliverers or people dropping around those bags that aren’t actually for charity, but for a “registered company” and they put that number in where you’d expect the registered charity number, to fool people that it’s a good cause. The charities themselves are usually very considerate and open and close the gate carefully.

Anyway, bloke and his mate, not particularly smart or well-dressed and sweating in the afternoon mugginess, were standing there. Bloke 1 asked if I’m a homeowner. Which I am, so I said so, but I also said I don’t buy anything door to door or accept advertising material. He tried to shove a leaflet in my face regardless, so I closed the door.

I saw him, through the frosted glass, dumping a leaflet for Virgo Home Improvements on my front step. I opened the door again and walked up to him and said “You can take your rubbish with you”.

He told me to f*ck off and started walking away to get away from me giving him the leaflet back, and his mate laughed.

I said “Get a proper job, instead of dropping leaflets outside people’s houses and swearing at them”. Not the cleverest thing to say, but I was narked by then.

He shouted as he kept walking “I have got a proper job, and a better house than you, you f*cking c*nt. Stupid f*cking c*nt”.

Half the street heard. I doubt he’ll have sold much down my road. My street is part housing association and part private ownership. The homeowners who are in during the day will have been about as impressed as I was with his “sales technique”. Particularly the ones who were walking back home from the primary school with their children at the time.

If you Google “Virgo Home Improvements”, who are a Bradford-based company, you will see that my experience with their staff is hardly uncommon. AVOID. Tell other people, too.