Bronchia

Yeah I know, the Netherlands lost one of the dullest World Cups in years amid a lot of dirty play (and no, Spain weren’t paragons of virtue and cleanliness either). I feel sad, stop rubbing it in. And for goodness’ sake, send the Spanish team to a barber’s.

The real winner of the World Cup was Paul the Octopus, whose predictions amazed everyone. Sadly, he’s now retiring. The goose that laid the golden accumulator bets can have his mussels without having to get them out of boxes with flags on top. Now, what are the odds on him fronting a Eurovision single next year? Dustin the Turkey Mark II.

It’s no secret that I want the Netherlands to win tonight. I’ve got my Sneijder t-shirt on and however good the Spanish look and however much I love Cesc, I still want Oranje to triumph.

Van Bommel’s tactics for not getting booked are the best thing I’ve heard about this World Cup since that video I posted that indicated the England squad have a sushi snack of an afternoon. Sounds like he’d get on alright around here, where bus chat is necessary for survival. I’m sure Howard Webb will appreciate the banter.

“Once, after I’d been booked in a game, I asked the ref where he bought his groceries and I told him where he could get them cheaper. He let me off another foul and then five games later asked me about another shop. You just need to chat with these guys. It doesn’t help if you stress them out.”

What the England team are eating during the World Cup.

Wax crayons…carved into sculptures of footballers by Diem Chau for Wieden + Kennedy. Strangely beautiful.

Click to see the full set – Rooney, Drogba, Ronaldo etc – in detail.

No, this post isn’t about Ed Balls.

One of the joys of working from home is the fact that I will be able to watch most of the World Cup…

I can’t embed the proper version of this, so you can have the campfire sing-a-long version instead and seek out the other one yourself: